Boundaries 101: Advice from a Therapist

Be Clear and Concise

Avoid overexplaining or justifying your decision. A simple response is often the most effective.

Example: "I appreciate the invitation, but I’m going to pass this time."

Use “I” Statements

Express your needs in a way that emphasizes your perspective without blaming others.

Example: "I need to focus on my own projects right now, so I can’t take this on."

Offer an Alternative if Appropriate

If you want to stay involved but can’t commit fully, suggest another way to contribute.

Example: "I can’t make it to the planning meeting, but I’d love to review notes afterward."

Set Limits in Advance

When you anticipate repeated requests, set boundaries ahead of time to reduce stress.

Example: "I’m happy to help with one task, but I won’t have time to take on more."

Delay Your Response

If you feel pressured to say yes, give yourself time to think.

Example: "Let me check my schedule and get back to you."

Emphasize Your Priorities

Remind yourself and others that saying no is about honoring what matters most to you.

Example: "I need to prioritize family time this weekend, so I won’t be able to join."

Practice Self-Compassion

Remember, saying no doesn’t make you selfish or mean—it’s an act of self-care that protects your time and energy.

Example: "I value helping others, but I need to recharge before I can give my best."

Boundary-setting is a skill that takes practice, but it’s worth it because it empowers you to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Each time you set and uphold a boundary, you’re building a stronger foundation of self-respect and teaching others how to treat you. Remember, boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about creating healthy, respectful connections that allow everyone involved to thrive.

Give yourself grace as you learn this skill, and celebrate the progress you make along the way. Even small steps, like saying no to something minor, can lead to big changes in how you feel and how others respond to you. It’s not always easy, but your mental health and happiness are worth it.

Learning to set boundaries can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Our therapists are here to help you build this essential skill, offering support and tools to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.